On Poetry and Fathers

by

Justice Putnam

The one thing

That always amazed me

Even from the

Earliest moment

Of your life

Was the utter trust

You had in me

And I was struck

At the time

By the amount

Of doubt

I had in myself.

Even though

Your mother and I

Had half a year

To practice breathing

I doubted that

I could remember

Properly when to

Encourage the right

Breath

And when the doctor

Said I could assist

And I finally held

You

Gray and small

I thought to that

Distant day

When you would

Hold your own son

In the same way

And I thought of

The resolve you would

Have

Just as I had

To love

Like no other

Father has loved.

So the years pass

And I doubt

You felt the

Prayer of love

Over that distance

And separation

You grew in.

A correspondence

Is a poor substitute

For a kiss

Yet each word

Was a universe

Of touch

I doubt it

Was enough.

I cannot now

Apologize

For all that you

Went through

I wish it were

Otherwise

But mere words

And sentiment

Are hollow.

You are now

A father

Kiss your son

While you can

Circumstance

Has a way

Of intruding

Upon the best

Of plans

And apologies

Become terrible

Temptations.

© 2004 by Justice Putnam

and Mechanisches-Strophe Verlagswesen

(This piece has appeared in the Berkeley Daily Planet and Art in a Liberal Frame.)